Being Your Own Person: Why It's Hard and Why It's Important

In fifth grade, my teacher had us write in our journals every day. We could write anything we wanted - an original fairy tale, what we ate for dinner the night before, or even our thoughts on current events. My journal entry was almost always about dance considering I spent 85% of my time at the studio and it was my favorite thing in the whole world.

One day, this girl (we'll call her Sporty Girl since I think we are still Facebook friends) yelled out at me when I was sharing my journal entry with the class.

"You always write about dance! It's not even a real sport! No one cares!"

I was shocked and hurt as I held back tears. No one had ever called me out like that before. So what if I liked something she didn't? Why did she have to go and do something like that? I just didn't understand.

The best thing I could do as a sensitive ten-year-old was to cry to my mom after school about how Sporty Girl had been mean to me. I'm pretty sure she emailed her mother or something ridiculous like that, but hey, it was fifth grade.

I never wrote about dance in my journal again. I was unhappy every time I opened my spiral notebook and had to half-heartedly fill three quarters of a page with a story about how I rode my bike after school and then helped my mom make cookies. Why did it matter that I was different than one of my classmates? Can't I still be proud of something like my dancing?

These questions didn't get answered for a while. In high school....well, it was high school. You either fought to blend in or fought to stand out. I think I spent some time doing both, to be honest. However, I don't think I was ever truly happy until I did my own thing. And not just "did my own thing", but was unapologetic about it.

Now, running around your campus and hitting people with water balloons because you're "doing your own thing" is still not ok. When I speak of BYOP (my new acronym for Being Your Own Person), I'm speaking more along the lines of hanging out with the people you like and participating in activities you enjoy without caring whether it's "trendy" or "popular".

Just a short list of examples of how I try to B(My)OP before we move on to the meat of this post... (what? All this rambling wasn't the meat?! Oy.)

• I freaking LOVE oldies music. I will jam to Billy Joel and the Beatles shamelessly. ("Sing us a song you're the piano man, sing us a song tonight.")
• I don't have an excessive amount of clothes because I think buying something just because you've seen several girls wearing them on Instagram is a little pointless. I'm not spending $150 on a bikini so I can get a lot of likes on a picture.
• Zumba is my everything. You may hate Zumba or think it's weird, but I will be there every Monday and Wednesday night. In the front row. Slaying.
• I eat healthy because I love healthy food. I would rather have chicken and brussels sprouts than pizza. This bewilders many.
• I like to be organized. Not in a stressed-out, obsessive way; it is fun for me. When I'm on the phone and someone gives me a date to write down, my heart feels warm and fuzzy as I grab my colored pens. I'm a freak, but at least I'm hella organized. 

So here's the meat ladies and gents...

Why it's hard

People aren't always the nicest
Sporty Girl could have kept that comment to herself, but things like this happen. Just because some of us aren't in grade school anymore doesn't mean we can't get picked on for being different/our own person. It may not be in the form of mean words spit across the sharing circle, but someone could just simply say something that hurts your feelings or make it a point not to hang out with us because of our differences. It sucks, but the best way to deal with it is just to remind yourself that you're being your own person, and if you pay attention to people who don't like that, you simply won't be happy.

You may find yourself alone

I go to Zumba alone, I go to Advertising club meetings alone, and I rock out to "best of the 80's" jams alone. It's all good! If you're happy doing the things you're doing, it won't matter who's with you or who takes notice. Maybe being alone and doing the things you love will allow you to meet new people who do like the same things you do. Just don't be scared to fly solo every now and then.

You won't get along with everyone because not everyone does things the way you do

99% of any conflict I have with anyone in life boils down to the fact that we are different people. We go about things differently and we deal with things differently. It isn't possible to be best friends with everyone or please everyone because if you're being you're being your own person, you can't be their person as well. Just respect everyone as you do your own thing, because chances are, their trying their best to be their own person, too.

But......Why it's important

Doing your own thing can help you to find great people in life that you're compatible with
I just met up with a good friend of mine over the weekend. We recalled how we first met...in hip hop class. We both weren't the best at hip hop, but we loved the class and became friends there as we fumbled all over the dance floor trying to appear both graceful and well..."crunk" at the same time. Had we worried about what others thought about our dancing skills, we wouldn't have gone to class and met each other. I'm thankful for that hip hop class, even if we both looked completely ridiculous. (Love you, Elizabeth!!) 

Being your own person allows you to let your talents and passions shine

I think the best personal example I can come up with is my blog. Notice in high school I didn't blog? Oh yeah, that's because I was worried about what other people thought and I kept myself on the straight and narrow to do everything that everyone else was doing. Go to the football games, dress up, post cute pictures on Instagram of your legs in a bubble bath (still do this), repeat. Do not step outside the lines of conformity!!!

But now I'm doing something I really love and it's not only a great way to spend my days but it is also helping me learn things that are beneficial for my future. (a.k.a. I know how to work with HTML code and I remind myself that I am a rockstar for that every single day.) I really couldn't be happier with it!

You can be recognized for your own personal, special qualities...and you can be rewarded
Just think if you went into a job interview for a really awesome position and when they looked at your resume, all it said was "did what everyone else was doing".

What would they say? I'm assuming they'd be rather confused and I'm predicting you probably wouldn't get the position.

But what if they saw that you had done some incredible things? You were in some great clubs, you had some beneficial job experience, and you had many unique qualities you had put in practice. Sounds like an ideal candidate to me! Being your own person helps you to stand out in a positive light. Be kind when everyone else wants to be hateful, smile when everyone wants you to frown, and don't ever hide your passions or talents because they don't fit in with everyone around you.



Well, I've done it again - wrote a very long post with too many Billy Joel references. But that's just me being me. You guys are great and I'm always thankful for you as readers and friends. Just be you, because I really like that about you!

X,

Cristina