I decided to have a little fun on the blog today and provide you with my fool-proof tips to "succeeding in adulting without really trying". (Does anyone get this broadway reference? Saw it in NYC when Daniel Ratcliffe was the lead and it was ah-mazing.) So sit back, relax, and nodd and laugh to yourself as you read this in public.
Use Lysol wipes to clean your entire house
People that own fancy floor cleaners and scrubbers are the opposite of frugal. And adults should be frugal. You can buy a large pack of store-brand disinfecting wipes and give your house a good scrub in 15 minutes flat. If your mom uses them on her surfaces, they must be good enough for yours.
Sometimes, it's practically irresponsible to waste your evening by putting together some elaborate meal that fits the MyPlate guidelines. Go out! Enjoy yourself! Have a cookie...have a cookie with ice cream in the middle. And get chocolate milk with it because, duh. (And if you're going to take my advice on this one, you need to stop by Chunky Dunk - it's the bright blue food truck just off the square, Fayetteville people!)
Don't be afraid to schedule your own appointments
It's that time of year to go get your teeth cleaned. Pick up the phone, repeat your mantra a few times (I can be a big girl, I can be a big girl...) and dial the number your mom sent you. Use a steady tone to show that you're not afraid and that yes, you would like a morning appointment because you are an adult and you like to get stuff done and get it done promptly. Don't let them see you sweat.
Schedule coffee with people
If you need to instantly feel more "adult", send a calendar invite to a friend for coffee. Notice I didn't say "text them". We are milennials - use your savvy technology skills and send them an official calendar invite. Go to a trendy place that people with briefcases and beards like to visit if you really want to be serious about it. When you're having coffee with said friend, use words like "essentially" and "likewise", and be sure to discuss current events you looked up on your WSJ app.
Feed your brain
Ok, so if you're going to be a real adult, you need to be in-the-know about real adult matters. You may not be the generation that has a paper subscription to one of the national newspapers, but no matter - subscribe to theSkimm. They do the reading for you and provide you with "the skim" on all the latest and greatest info. Never miss out on a conversation about the presidential nominees, the current economic crisis, or...umm....well I need to go read a bit more.
Write everything down
Always write everything down in your planner. Not only will you be giving your responsibility a boost because you never forget about an assignment or meeting, but you can also tell people "I can pencil you in" which is a very adult exchange.
Try your best not to talk behind people's backs, curse in traffic, or eye-roll when the barista messes up your double tall soy latte with no foam. It doesn't really matter if you're a kid, an adult, or a senior citizen, but if you are (or want to be) wise, you should know this doesn't get you very far. Plus it's no fun to be a grump 24/7. So smile at people when you wave them on in traffic, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all, and just make sure you annunciate to the barista when you have a complicated order.
Go out into the great big world and have a great week!