November 5, 2015

Dear, Girls With Boyfriends (And All The Single Ladies)



In the month of November, I like to do at least one relationship post since my anniversary with my Cameron is on the 15th (!!!)

I can't believe we'll be celebrating five years together. If you're doing the math right now in your head - yes, we started dating when I was 14. I met him on the very first day of high school in SeƱora Bradbury's Spanish class.

To this day, Cam is the most loving person I've ever met. From the first time he gave me a hug me when I was sad one day in class (didn't even flinch that I got mascara on his sweatshirt) I knew he was someone I wanted in my life. We were just friends at first, but I would always tell him that his future girlfriend was going to be so lucky to have someone like him. And then sometime a couple months later, than lucky girl was me! So there's the short version of "How Cameron and Cristina Started Dating".

This post isn't really specifically about me or my relationship. For this post, I want to share some valuable things I've learned with those that have significant others and those who don't; either way, you're doing life just right

Lately, girls who have boyfriends have kinda gotten a bad rep. I don't know how it is for guys, but I would say the issue arises for us females because of the rise of women today, which I am all by the way. Women are pushing so hard to be independent and seen as equally-capable to their male counterparts (again, all for it) that girls with boyfriends are sometimes mis-labeled as weak.

"If your boyfriend is your best friend, you're doing it wrong"
"If you have to text him in the morning, you're weak"
"You shouldn't have to ask him to come over and fix anything, you need to do it yourself"

I'm here to say, no. Just because YOU make the personal decision to let someone into your life and let someone be there every step of the way does not make you weak, unimportant, or over-dependent. I think that makes you strong. That shows that you have trust and compassion. And that is something I think we could all agree needs to be more prominent in the world.

I personally do not get a lot of grief, luckily. From early on, my friends and family saw how much brighter my life was with Cam in it. He was there for a lot of rocky moments in the history of my high school years that a girl really needs a best friend to get through. No, you don't need another person to make you feel special or help you to keep it together, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with someone thinking you're great and being there for you. If that's wrong, I don't want to be right.

I am a better person with my other half. I have learned so many things from him that I'll always carry with me in our life together and I wouldn't trade that for the world.

Someone was there for me when I was 15 and my parents got divorced.
Someone held my hand when I got my cartilage pierced at 16.
Someone took me to prom when I was 17 and stayed with me when I got a migraine instead of going to the after party.
Someone cheered at all the football games with me in my first year of college when I was 18.
And now....well I'm 19 years old and I need to finish writing this post so I can go see someone and ask them how their day was.

Girls without boyfriends: You are beautiful and you don't need a man. But when you find someone, don't be hesitant to let them in. You will not lose your independence, your spark, or anything. You don't need someone to complete you, but be prepared that someone is out there that one day just might.

Girls with boyfriends: Thanks for being a good example of someone that can be strong and in a relationship at the same time. Treat your other half well and don't be ashamed of loving someone. Loving someone shows the world something beautiful that I think it ought to see.


Next Thursday, I'll be posting our anniversary pictures that our friends Elizabeth and Parker took for us! So stay tuned for that and have a great rest of your week.

X,

Cristina




45 comments:

  1. Such a beautiful perspective and great reminder for women of all ages!

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  2. I definitely believe that if you're with the right person, they complement you, not hold you back.
    So if you feel like your SO is holding you back, then you probably shouldn't be with them.
    That said, I am glad to have found my person who complements me as a person.
    Agree wholeheartedly with everything in this post.

    xoxo, Jenny || Breakfast at Lillys

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    1. So true about someone complimenting you vs. holding you back. I think that's how you really know that they're the right person to be with. Best wishes to you and yours :) Thanks for reading!

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  3. What a sweet post. As with all people in life, I believe that a significant other should enhance your life and bring more good than bad. Happy anniversary!

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  4. Love how you agree the right person shouldn't hold you back! Something I struggle with at this age.
    www.kayleighskloset.com

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  5. God I just love y'all! Happy anniversary ��
    - ya flammy

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  6. I love this perspective. I'm single, but I've never hated on people in relationships. I think we all walk different paths of life, and we all find love at different times.

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    1. Yes, girl - different paths of life all the way! It doesn't matter if you're in a relationship or not, you just gotta show love to all :) Thanks so much for reading and your sweet comment!

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  7. Aww this was so sweet!!! I love how you ended that "now I need to go see how someone's day was." It sounds like you two are great for one another and this was a great post. I completely agree!

    xo,Sara Kate Styling

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    Replies
    1. Aw, thank you so much, you're so kind! Thanks for reading

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  8. I love that you've made this post so inclusive. When I see people judging someone's relationship I think about the quote "Don't compare your beginning to someone else's middle." Thanks for sharing and happy almost anniversary! xx Merisa | Monogrammed Magnolias

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  9. YES! I hate the comment if your BF is your BFF you're doing it wrong. Like what? Why do you even care geez.

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    1. Haha 'geez' is right, girl! Thanks for reading :)

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  10. I think a strong and happy relationship is SO beautiful. <3 I hate that people say if your bf is your bff it's wrong. My parents are best friends and have been together since they were 14!
    xoxo
    Lauren
    www.thefashionistasdiary.com

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    Replies
    1. Oh my goodness your parents sound adorable! Thanks so much for reading :)

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  11. A great post, about an important topic! My husband is definitely my very best friend and I wouldn't have it any other way! We have been together since we were in high school and have grown up together. He truly is my better half.

    xo Ashley

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  12. Love love this post. As a fellow college gal who's had the same boyfriend since high school, people always say I'm missing out or I can't have fun!! Which is so untrue. My boyfriend and I are also long distance so people will put down that I take time out to Skype him at night, when really it's one of the favorite parts of my day! Being single is fab, but finding someone to be by your side (especially during the stresses of college) is pretty great as well!

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    1. Couldn't agree more! That's so awesome that you guys have time set aside for each other. I really admire people in long distance - long term relationships. Thanks for reading!

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  13. Thanks for the reminder!! Love it!
    xo, claudia
    www.chroniclesofclaudia.com

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  14. YES YES YES YES YES. MY boyfriend IS my best friend and better half. He's extremely romantic in every way and an amazing guy. It's worse for him, I get all the praise from my friends and he gets dubbed as "whipped". UGH.

    Courtney//As We Stumble Along

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    1. I never thought about it the other way around! Maybe his friends are just jealous he has such a great girl! Just keep doing you and your relationship will thank you!

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  15. 5 years together!! That's awesome! I love hearing about sweet love stories like yours!

    -Morgan
    How 2 Wear It [] http://how2wearit.com

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  16. This is an awesome reminder - I'm without a boyfriend at the moment, but I like what you said about not being hesitant to let another person in. I tend to be so shielded and guarded when it comes to relationships.

    Alessandra | blog.pumpup.com

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    1. Yes, never be afraid to let someone in. I truly believe it will only strengthen you, X!

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  17. I definitely don't equate being strong with being single-I think being confident and strong should be a constant whether you're single or in a relationship. Honestly if your boyfriend is NOT your best friend run from the relationship ASAP. I've dated guys in the past that weren't my besties and those all turned out to be awful relationships. In my opinion the key to a happy and healthy relationship is maintaining that strong friendship. Lovely post & happy 5 year anniversary (:

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    1. Wow, love how you put this! Thanks so much girl!

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  18. Congratulations on your anniversary! Wise words, beautiful girl. --Laura A. (Your neighbor back in Cypress)

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    1. Thank you so much Ms. Laura, I hope you are well!

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  19. I often think that with the rise of feminism, people assume girls with boyfriends are just keeping with the age old stereotype that "we need a man" and that isn't true at all! I'm not dating anyone currently, but I think that a significant other is just a person to enjoy life with!
    with southern grace,
    lindsey
    withsoutherngrace.blogspot.com

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  20. This post serves as such a great reminder! And happy (early) anniversary! :]

    http://thealwaysblog.com

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  21. I hate the double standard for girls being in a relationship. What it comes down to is that you should be dating your best friend, and if you are, who cares how you two express your love for each other!

    Cat
    http://classmeetscouture.com

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  22. My girlfriend and I had our 4 year anniversary on the 11th. Finding someone when you're so young seriously is a blessing. I wish you all the best!

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