February 17, 2016

I Am So Done


Man, does anyone else feel worn out? 

Yesterday evening, I finally pried myself away from my computer long enough to make a proper dinner. Downstairs, my roommates were burning a Japanese Cherry Blossom candle and I literally started crying.

Wait, Cristina, back up...you cried? Because a candle was lit? Did I miss something?

Let me 'splain: The scent reminds me of my mom because that's her absolute favorite scent from Bath and Body works. When I smell it, I see her getting ready for work in her bathroom. She plugs in her flat iron and turns it on and calls for me or my sister to come help her because she can never do it herself.

And I just cried. I missed my mom so much. I missed being home and having my only worry be what I would eat for dinner or if I would finish my homework in time to watch Full House on cable.

(My roommates are probably reading this right now feeling very weary to ever light the candle again. Don't worry ya'll - I love it!)

So, obviously I'm stressed out. When I'm stressed out, I cry at everything. I cry at cute videos of dogs on Facebook and those "faith in humanity" posts on Twitter. I cry when I can't find a parking space on the level of the parking garage that conveniently leads right out onto the street. I cry when I burn my dinner. You get the point.

I'll be straight up with ya'll. I'm only taking 12 hours this semester. I ended up dropping a class that I didn't really need, and though I was only left with 4 classes, I'm still on track to finish on time since I got ahead this summer. So I was like "Great, I'll get a chill semester and I can really invest time in some other stuff."

I am drowning ya'll.

Each of my classes this semester requires a ridiculous amount of work. Not only should you go to class and cease from blinking so you don't miss any information, but there is tons of reading, various assignments that are due throughout the week, major papers, quizzes, and tests, and all that stuff. "Well, that's school for you, Cristina." Yeah, I know. But this is next level...Swears.

Blogging is a great stress reliever for me. Sitting down and writing out my feelings does wonders for my mental health and keeps the stress zits at bay. However, it is a time consuming hobby/job. I put the "/job" because any blogger that is also a full time student can tell you that they consider it a part time job. There's no minimum wage involved and you don't wear an apron or embellished ball cap, but it takes up every other hour that isn't spent doing school or basic survival needs.

Again, (and I stress) I love it. Wouldn't change a thing. But it's something on my plate. (But let's consider it the mashed potatoes of the plate...although it takes up space, it's the best part!)

I know I'm not the only one who is feeling like they are struggling to tread water here. It seems lately that every time I grab lunch with a friend or text someone to see how their day is going, we are all in the same, sad, stressed out boat. Everyone has obligations and responsibilities that really keep them from being at their best. We all have those weeks where we have three exams or where all we seem to do is homework.

This blog post is starting to sound too pity party for me, so let's change gears. Solution time.

There is a point where you need to say, "I am done for the day." This is something that I've had to work long and hard to master. I am an over-achiever. I constantly tell myself that I am never doing enough. I could study more. I could add more research to that essay. I could read ahead for class. I can go to that meeting that's not mandatory but would look good on my resume. You have to make yourself, stop, relax, and be done at some point each day.
The best way I've found to do this is to do something selfish each day. By "selfish" I mean an uninterrupted time for yourself.

You don't answer your phone. You don't take work emails. You don't open your school books.

You read your favorite book. You go on a walk with your dog. You cook dinner for yourself and play Justin Beiber really loud. You go to Zumba class. Find whatever it is that you can do for you each day and make it happen.

It's best if it's something that really takes your mind off the day. I like my Zumba classes on Mondays and Wednesdays because for a whole hour, I put my phone away in a cubby and just focus on my workout. I'll admit I bring my flashcards or my books with me to read while I'm waiting for class to start, but once the music starts playing, it's me time. By the end of class, I'm a hot, sweaty mess who's relieved some stress and burned a ton of calories.

Find your Zumba, ya'll. Trust me, it's so worth it to take time for yourself.

Also, encourage others around you. Like I said, we are all in the same boat. Even your mom who works two jobs. Even your little sister who has a tough course load at school. Even your grandma who gets lonely sometimes living by herself. Call them, send a card in the mail, let them know you're thinking about them and rooting for them.

You are not defined by your GPA. You are not defined by how many parties you can make it to. You are not defined by whether or not you make it to your bible study group every week. You are not defined by the amount of hours you put in.

Crazy, busy weeks (or semesters) are going to come. Just like rain, just like heartache, just like a new show to binge-watch on Netflix, there is a season for everything. Bottom line is, no matter how stressed you may feel, know that you are doing just fine. Not every day is as productive as you may want it to be, but that's ok. Take time for yourself. Love yourself. Have a Justin Bieber dance party. You'll be ok.

X,

Cristina

42 comments:

  1. Oh girl I had so many times where I just cried because I wanted to be at home with my family eating dinner with them instead of making pasta for the 12th night in a row and eating while I wrote a paper. Everyone goes through it, and I love that you're being honest! Taking time for yourself is so important. Even as a college graduate I've had my moments! What a great post!
    xoxo

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    1. Glad to know I'm not the only one who has pasta several nights in a row, haha :) Thanks for reading!

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  2. You are not alone. I've felt like there are just not enough hours in the day here lately. Self care is so important and I'm glad you're taking time for yourself even though you're super busy.

    All the Best,
    Allison | www.LiveLifeWellBlog.com

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  3. I know what you are going through. When I was in college I would go through times were I felt like I was never doing enough and overwhelmed with everything on my plate. I quickly learned to take time for myself to do things I loved, exercise, and relax with music. Prioritizing is a big thing I learned in college and feel thankful for today.
    Marly
    www.girlylove.org

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    1. Prioritizing is definitely key! Thanks for reading and for your sweet words :)

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  4. I'm not even in college and feel the same way.

    I am lucky that my job situation has some flexibility. I know that I can do really well from 6am-8:15am and then I can't focus for about an hour so I do my meeting prep then which is mostly organizing notes, dialing in to calls and remember what the meeting is even about. 9-2pm I can do just about everything and focus is no longer an issue. Around 2.45 I'm done again until 7pm and then I can work straight through without slowing.

    I've worked through a normal day before and it doesn't work. I've tried just pushing through and actually ended up in hospital because I wore myself out. Don't do it!! It just makes it even worse.

    I've learned that it is totally OK to turn off and step back. To go grab some poutine, or watch episodes of Pretty Little Liars, or to grab a tea and a book and hide out in my closet.

    I've gotten to the point I pencil in time blocks in my work calendar to say that I'm out of the office. Most of my co workers respect it and make sure to not reach out unless it's an emergency. One of the VPs of the company even highly recommends we schedule in work out time during our day and she will follow up if she sees you don't have time blocked off and see if anything she can do to help relieve workload.

    It's so important to know your limits. It's so important to be willing to say you need a break and to take it.

    Keep taking care of yourself!!

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    1. That is so awesome that you make sure you set aside time for yourself, and that one of your VPs monitors it as well! So true about knowing your limits. Thank you so much for reading and for your comments :)

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  5. What a great post!
    I felt like that all too many times in college.
    Now I feel like I have loads more going on but it somehow seems easier to balance.

    xoxo, Jenny

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    1. I bet you get better at balancing everything as you grow! That's a comforting thought :) Thanks so much for reading and for your input!

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  6. I literally felt the EXACT same these past two days; I cried to my boyfriend freaking out about every little thing. I miss my mom all the time and school can get super overwhelming. I feel for you! I love this post, I needed to read this to know I'm not the only one feeling like this! xoxo.

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    1. If I had a dollar for every time I cry to my boyfriend! Haha...girl I feel you. I definitely relate to you seeing as we both are going to school away from our hometown which means away from those we love. You're gonna do great though and I hope you have an awesome semester!

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  7. I think it is normal to hit a point where you just feel done and ready for a break. School can be so overwhelming sometimes, it's good you recognize that blogging and exercise are good escapes for you.

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  8. This just hit it right on the nail. I took 18 hours last semester which I thought was insane, but overall the classes were easy. This semester, I am taking 14 and I don't even know where to begin. There are so many textbook readings I have to do (and rarely do) and long homework assignments and quizzes each week. I feel so overwhelmed I don't get much accomplished sometimes. Sometimes I feel like if I read a section or work a few math problems that's all my mental health can handle.
    Great post!

    Bailey
    baileysbulletin.blogspot.com

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    1. Thanks so much for reading and for your comment! I totally know what you mean - there's so much reading that sometimes a quick skim is all I can manage. Whatever you can manage is always enough, though. You don't need to push yourself harder than necessary :) Kick this semester's butt! :) :)

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  9. Keep you're head up girl! I know the going can get rough but remember, it's just a bad day, not a bad life. You are capable of amazing things!

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    1. Love love love that quote, Shane! Thank you so much for your sweetness :)

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  10. Great post and I can totally relate to everything you are saying. i study at UCLA and my family are back in England so I miss them a lot and its hard when the workload and my job is being tough on me! Sometimes you need to take time out after all your health and happiness is all that really matters!

    Abigail-Alicex | My Latest Post!

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    1. Wow, that's so crazy that you are so far from home! I feel for you, girl. But you are so right - health and happiness is all that matters, so don't stress too much on school and work! :) X!

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  11. Hang in there girl, I feel the struggle of stress! College can be crazy and it is such an ongoing thing that never ends! SUmmer is coming up!
    www.kayleighskloset.com

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  12. This is a fantastic post! I'm right in the middle of a really stressful few weeks this semester, but I'm trying to find my "Zumba" and take time to relax.
    -Anna | http://www.fivefootandfabulous.com

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    1. Best of luck to you, girl! Thanks for reading :)

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  13. I've been extremely stressed out with school lately too, and this has been a rough week for both myself and a lot of my friends! Hang in there- lots of college students have struggles, and we can all persevere!

    xoxo A
    www.southernbelleintraining.com

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  14. I have definitely been in your spot before, it will get better! Just hang in there, take a deep breath and relax!

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  15. This entire post speaks to everything I'm going through right now I want to pull my hair out and run away from my problems and into my moms arms LOL but honestly thank you so much for writing this and really saying what everyone is feeling! God bless ya girly!

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  16. I could relate to this ENTIRE post! Sometimes it seems like life is getting so suffocating that you can barely breathe. Even blogging about it can make a huge difference, because it often feelings like you're alone in this daily battle of stress and it's nice to hear that you're not alone. I also go by the idea of doing one selfish thing a day as well. In my mind, there's a difference between selfishness and putting yourself first. Sometimes it's okay to be selfish, because you need to value and cherish yourself.
    Rebecca xo
    www.sunnyrebecca.com

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    1. So true! Putting yourself first is really a great habit to have and isn't selfish in the slightest. It's good that you know this even before entering college! I know you are going to have a great rest of the year, and be successful in all that you do :) Thanks, Rebeca!

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  17. I feel your pain! I am struggling this semester, too. I need to be better at disconnecting and taking time to focus. Hang in there!

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  18. Just know that I'm struggling too, so you aren't alone! you can always email me if you ever need someone to talk to. <3
    xo
    Lauren
    The Fashionista's Diary

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    1. Aw you are so sweet! Thank you so much! I hope you have a great rest of the week :)

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  19. Oh girl....I totally know those days. You aren't alone! I had a moment today mid-teaching where my kids just weren't listening and I just stood their and closed my eyes for a minute, feeling so overwhelmed. I cam home today though and made my husband take me to dinner then plopped myself in front of Say Yes to the Dress where I am now currently vegging. It's so important to take time to yourself!!

    xo Ashley

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    1. Sometimes after a long day you just need to plop down on the couch! I hope you have a great rest of the week :)

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  20. This touched my heart. I remember college would get to me sometimes. Take a break! Walk away, go outside, breathe in the fresh air, decompress. I found out I had anxiety in college and it really crushed me. I didn't understand how I could let classes get to me so bad! But I found things that helped calm me down. Looks like you've found some things and keep doing them! ❤️

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  21. I am stressed out to right now with all these projects and assignments. Take a deep breath, relax and take a break. I did it the other day and it helped. :)

    xx,
    Amanda || www.fortheloveofglitter.com

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  22. Cristina, this post rocked my socks. I've been pretty stressed as well lately and this really helped put things in perspective for me. Also, I'll say a prayer for you that you get a break this semester. I follow you on Snapchat and see how much you study and how dedicated you are to getting things done. That is so encouraging to me and I want to send the same encouragement to you. So Cristina, you are awesome and gorgeous and intelligent and hard-working and you are doing so so good. Keep it up :)

    xo, Alison
    www.beautyandblazers.com

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    1. Thank you so much Alison! Haha, I have to apologize for all of the "me-sitting-at-my-desk-studying" posts on my Snapchat. It's a bit of an overkill :) But...I am SO incredibly humbled that you find it encouraging! Thanks so much for your sweet words and prayers.. I will be praying for you as well! Love your positive light! X!

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